Ah, Universe. You’ve really done a number on me. But that’s okay. I forgive you for being a bitch. It is often in your nature. And, really, you may have done me a favor. A shitty favor, but a favor, nonetheless.
You guys see that picture? Those are my legs. Let’s play one of these things does not look like the other one. Can you guess the difference? Yep, the left leg is purple and almost two inches in diameter bigger. Can you guess why? No? Neither could the first doctor that looked at me. Tried to send me home with a prescription for painkillers and told me to ice it. Ice what? The entire fucking leg?