If you’ve been following my blog, you probably know Cass Alexander is my pen name. You also probably know my sense of humor is, well, different? Special? Dark? Not normal? Oh, totes inappropriate. Yes, that’s the word. It’s not my fault, really. If you’ve met my family you would understand.
You like that picture above? That’s my older brother and I circa 1980. We were cute. We were also diabolical. Still are, and we wear that description as one would wear a badge of honor. But we’re also close and, all things considered, good at heart. In fact, he’s the one that gave me my pen name. He’s good with words. I always thought he should write a book–a legit novel, not like the romantic comedies I write.
Our humor is very similar. We laugh at all the things we shouldn’t and have gotten in trouble for it our entire lives. Recently, we started going back through old texts and laughing at the things we came up with. I suggested we turn them into a story or a book. He agreed. We’re picturing a small hardback for your bathroom. You know, something special. Everyone needs quality bathroom material.
We’ve spent the past month going through old texts and recounting all of our phone conversations. We’ve gotten about 60 pages so far. I re-read some of it last night and laughed out loud–but I think we’re super funny. Will the rest of the world think we’re funny? It’s scary putting yourself out there, but we’re going to do it. Maybe even under our real names. Or maybe not. Doing that will probably get us sued. We text a lot about other people, especially family members. There’s some debate over deleting material. We’ll see how far we dare to push the envelope. I’m guessing all the way.
I thought, since I have this blog going, I’d share a small piece of what my brother wrote in his “Brologue.” He thought that was a funny play on “Prologue.” I slapped him in the face and told him, “It’s a Foreword, dumbass.” Who’s laughing now, Universe? Oh, you guys don’t know how competitive we are and how often we try to show off our intellect. And I didn’t actually slap him. He lives in a different state. Geez. You act like you don’t even know me, Deborah.
Anyway, we each wrote part of the Foreword and I really liked his better (that hurt, saying it aloud). Here’s why: he’s so random it’s fucking hilarious. Here’s a small taste:
So, we are telling our story and hoping that someone will love our stupidity and give us lots of money so that we can purchase on eBay Jennifer Grey’s original face and then take turns wearing it and killing people with a small sword. Possibly some small animals, as well. Nobody puts Baby’s face in a corner. Except my sister.
I don’t know if we will have the time for death-play, however, as we will likely be busy fending off lawsuits filed by relatives who know a portion of this work is absolutely about them.
Some of you … many of you … okay, okay, most of you might not find the humor in that excerpt. But I laugh every time I read it. It’s quite possible he and I will be the only ones to ever read this nonfiction humor book we plan to publish this fall. And that’s okay. What’s not okay is if my parents get their hands on it and disown us. Once you read the book, you’ll know it’s a very likely scenario. I’ll keep you posted.
Cass Alexander 